Writing On The Wall

It has been a long time since my last post. I would like to blame my absence on the late night parties, the after hours clubs, the exclusive backstage passes to Paris Fashion week, and the champagne brunches on the yacht of my new best friend. I would also like to blame my disappearance on account of my volunteering at the Hong Kong International Literary Festival, but I can’t even do that.

A few weeks ago, in my quest to make some friends, I responded to a call for volunteers. Now mind you, I was aware that Interpol (division of fugitive international volunteers) had put me on their most wanted watch list about ten years ago, but I thought that time served plus my obvious remorse might have expunged my record. It’s a new day people. I am older now, wiser, and perhaps even shorter than my last altercation as a volunteer. The chances are very, very small that I will ever again attack another volunteer in the middle of an African Rainforest. Nor will I run off with a hot director of an orphanage in Southern Italy, and even if I did, which I wouldn’t, this time I would be suspicious about his sources of income. I will not be fooled a second time. And like wise, I really doubt that I would ever again consider leaving my post as a witness for peace to take up with armed rebels in the jungles of South America. And really, this time, I promise, if there is a flyer to be handed out, I will not take the stack to the nearest recycling bin nor will I crank call the people on the phone list or have Bugs Bunny “sign” a petition.

Since my wayward days are over, I didn’t think twice when I offered body, heart, and soul to those “people” who run the festival. I mean I am not a volunteer to sneeze at because, A: I got loads of time on my hands. And B: I have experience. I know how to work a mic, seat people, chat up an author, pour a glass of water, stuff an envelope, discreetly pick my ass and look self important while doing it.

Anyway, I am over the rejection. Because after seeing the below clip, I am reminded of my life’s higher purpose.

And in other SWC news, my book sold. And before you vomit in your mouth, note that the book is not based on the blog.